As I mentioned last night, Richard Beck wrote me about research that's been done concerning theories people have about love. They found that there are basically two competing theories at work. Some are destiny theorists. They believe that there is one right person for you, and that when you find them it will be wonderful. Somewhere out there is a "soulmate." This group tends to discard romantic relationships when there are problems. Others are growth theorists. They believe that love is something that emerges over time as you work through lots of ups and downs. Research shows that they wind up much happier in their relationships. I've heard so many people over the past decade use the "soulmate" language. No wonder most of them are so frustrated in their dating lives or in their marriages. Forget Cinderella, Prince Charming, Richard Gere and Julia Roberts. Love takes time, patience, energy, commitment, and service.