Mike Cope's blog

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

We haven't been youth group parents since May of 2000. But we're back! Now with a sixth grader, we were back in the meeting of youth group families a couple Sundays ago. It's nice to be out of children's ministry, to be honest. Not that we wanted our youngest to grow up. But some of the other parents were starting to look like they could be our children. We're not Abraham and Sarah, of course. We were 35 when Chris was born. But that's quite different than being 25 when Matt was born or 28 (me) and 27 (Diane) when Megan was born. Matt had a dad with more energy. At the end of the day--no matter how early it began!--I was ready to wrestle and throw a ball for as long as he wanted after dinner. Plus, my back didn't hurt. But . . . there are some advantages to having children when you're older. Chris has a more patient dad. For the most part I don't let things get to me so easily, following a "life's too short" philosophy. There's still been plenty of wrestling, baseball, and soccer -- but not every night. I figured out that I don't like traveling as much, so I'm around more. Our marriage is happier. (That's a bit delicate to put right here in the blog. But it's true.) And as a coach this time around, I have more moments when I remember that there are bigger issues than winning. It used to bother me that I'd be 54 when Chris graduates. But that's looking younger all the time!


  • Does Diane read your blog? I think Jill read mine once.

    Just this morning I was thinking about how my daughter is almost a teenager. Perhaps my aching back this morning reminded me of my age...last night was game night and Jacob always chooses wrestling as his game, leading to back ache and thoughts on aging to go with yours.

    I've now joined you and everyone's dog on blogspot. Had originally gone with Radio because it had RSS (to use with Wineskins--I had Wade's and mine linked) and other features back before Blogger had these features, but I've converted. Greg Taylor

    By Blogger Greg Taylor, at 9/21/2004 05:03:00 AM  

  • There are pros and cons of having children at an older age. We were 34 and 38 when our youngest was born. Before our first came along when we were 29 and 34, we were having a hard time finding a place to fit in, especially at Highland. Small talk in the "30-something" class consisted of everyone's kids and their activities. But having Kevin when most everyone's kids were nearly grown made us special enough for the last baby shower ever given for one of the class members (they're now "50's .com" and talk about their grandkids).

    When we finally had the boys we found ourselves associating with couples much younger than ourselves. We felt we were their age, and for the most part, still do. Those joints don't move like they used to, but how could that be? We're so young!

    We're now empty-nesters in the prime of life, enjoying it immensely. I'm sure you will too, but savor these last years with Chris. They go by in a hurry.

    Now we're indulging in the things we wanted to do but couldn't with little ones taggging along, or with our early-marriage income. We will probably be waiting longer than we like for grandkids, because the cycle is repeating itself.

    By Blogger Sarah_RN, at 9/21/2004 06:19:00 AM  

  • The very worst part for us in having kids later in life (all three came after age 37) is that they will never know three of their four grandparents. So much wisdom and kindness became unavailable to them when their grandmothers died; there is no substitute that will be able to fill that void.


    Of course since I have all girls, I don't wrestle as much as I would with a boy, but my back still hurts.

    By Blogger jds, at 9/21/2004 07:29:00 AM  

  • Good point, Jonathan. Since OUR parents started young, all four of Chris's grandparents are in their late sixties.

    By Blogger Mike, at 9/21/2004 07:42:00 AM  

  • My dad was 52 when I graduated high school. He'll be 60 in April. His age was never the odd one, though. He was 35 when I was born -- my mother was 19. (I asked my mother what she'd have done if I'd dated a 34 year old man just after graduating high school. I forget exactly what she said, but I know it involved my very personal death and a promise to kill me again if possible.)

    Age doesn't matter a heck of a lot with kids -- involvement does. And it sounds like you guys are plenty involved to give the other parents a run for their money.

    By Blogger Q, at 9/21/2004 08:26:00 AM  

  • Mike, I'll be 58 as I watch the last of five graduate from high school. (You and I were in the same class at Harding) I had just turned 40 when our last one was born. I think it just keeps you young. Honestly, I do know a bunch of folks our age who just sit around watching tv and getting older. I'm glad not to be in that situation, though I do get envious when I see all their free time now and then, and we haven't even started on the grandparent thang yet! However, many of them have told me they miss the years when their kids were in the stuff ours are in now, so I just count my blessings. One thing that DOES tick me off: the senior group at church is the "Over 50's" group. I'll be there in 16 months, and at the senior banquet, my fourth grader will be serving the meal to help out the old folks! I don't think I'll attend, until they change the membership requirements to "Over 80's".

    By Blogger don, at 9/21/2004 11:16:00 AM  

  • 'Once again I agree with Don. Our "Golden Years" group starts at 50 and I hate that because I'll be 50 in '05 and the only golden thing about me is the highlights in my hair(they help to hide the gray). Mike, I know what Diane looks like so Chris doesn't have any problem THERE... Annie

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9/21/2004 02:28:00 PM  

  • Haven't you heard? 50 is the new 30.

    By Blogger john alan turner, at 9/21/2004 03:49:00 PM  

  • I love that: "50 is the new 30." I've been hearing that, too. That's because we Baby Boomers always think it's about us! :) Thirty years from now we'll be trying to convince people "80 is the new 50."

    By Blogger Mike, at 9/22/2004 05:36:00 AM  

  • Hey!! What do you mean, wait 30 years! Today[!!!] is "80 is the new 30" :)

    By Blogger Kathy, at 9/22/2004 05:49:00 AM  

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