Megan's grave. There is this wonderful country cemetery just outside Neosho, MO, where generations of my family are buried. But when my daughter died in November of 1994, we couldn't bury her there. It was just too far away. I know that may be hard for some to understand, because we couldn't visit her,anyway--at least not like when you visit someone in the hospital. But we still did need to visit her . . . to drive out to the little plot of ground where she was buried. It was/is holy ground. When my daughter's body was lowered in that spot (just outside Abilene on 277 -- Elmwood Cemetery), it was a cold, rainy day. I remember hating that it was so wet and cold. She liked being warm and snuggling. I wanted to put some plastic over the fresh dirt to keep the rain off (but didn't). For the first few months, we drove out there often. Nearly always we went separately, lost a bit from each other in our grief. Then as the months rolled into years, our visits were less seldom but still regular. Now, eleven years later, I rarely go to Megan's grave. There are the three regular dates, of course: Easter (most important), Valentine's Day (when I lay roses), and November 21 (the date of her death). There are other times, like when visitors come to town and want to drive out there. And usually when I'm doing a graveside service at the cemetery, I'll stop by on my way out. But for the most part, the need to visit has diminished through the years. It is still holy ground, however.